If a child falls, parents can say lightly and warmly, “Uh oh.” That conveys a complex message: I see that you fell, I see you are a bit scared, I care about that, and I am confident you will be OK. Another way that children’s feelings are dismissed is when adults say to them: “You’re fine … you have no right to be angry … there’s no reason to be scared.” This undermines children’s ownership of their feelings. Instilling fear activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight) and blocks the parasympathetic system (soothing)-the exact opposite of what children need. Now the little child has two big emotions that they can’t express or release. He is the author of Playful Parenting and co-author, with Michael Thompson, Ph.D., and Catherine O’Neill Grace, of Best Friends, Worst Enemies and Mom, They’re Teasing Me. But that just adds fear or anger to the emotion that was already there. Cohen, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist specializing in children’s play, play therapy, and parenting. Some parents shout, hit, or threaten to get children not to cry, whine, or tantrum. First, children learn that words have meaning, and then they learn that certain words have special power, said Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D., author of the book Playful Parenting.

They need us to accept all their emotions as normal, natural, and healthy. This is exhausting and frustrating for parents and harmful for children.

Parents use up an incredible amount of energy trying to get children to stop having or showing emotions. Es autor de Playful Parenting y coautor de Unplug and Play: The Ultimate. Step 3: Accept feelings, for as long as they take Cohen, enseña habilidades de crianza y entrena a educadores de padres en todo el mundo.

Lawrence cohen playful parenting